Our First Trans-Continental Travelling Adventure

The day after Christmas Megan and I went over the river and through the woods to Grandma Kathy's house. The river we went over was the Mississippi and we didn't go through the woods so much as over them...and the mountains and the prairies for that matter.

We flew from Madison to Dallas to Phoenix. Needless to say, I was a little apprehensive about travelling across the country on a plane with an 8 month old. I feel like I planned and planned and perhaps over planned. But with Todd needing to stay in Madison for work, I thought I'd be better off over preparing than under preparing. There aren't a whole lot of adjustments you can make on a plane when it's just you and the baby!

We started out really well in the airport. We arrived with plenty of time and hung out with Todd until it was time to go through security to board the plane. It was really hard to walk away from Todd, knowing that we wouldn't see him for 5 days...and dreading what might lie ahead on the plane despite all my planning and happy thoughts.

The first plane was one with two seats on one side of the aisle and one seat on the other. They assigned me to the window seat on the two-seat side. The woman that was seated next to me was probably a few years older than me and was headed to Vail for her first time skiing on "real mountains." While she didn't have any children of her own, it sounded like she was pretty involved with her nieces and nephews and instantly took a liking to Megan.

I was really lucky to be seated next to someone so understanding, because Megan didn't take very well to flying. She started out okay, but before long she was crying harder than I've seen her cry in a really long time. She didn't want to eat. She didn't want her nuk. She didn't want to play. She didn't want to sleep. She didn't want to be held...now that was really a problem. I cycled through all the possible ways to calm her down over and over, but it only seemed to upset her more. Finally she just fell asleep out of sheer exhaustion.

It was a fitful sleep and every time I shifted my arm she'd wake up and fuss. Luckily she slept that way for about 40 minutes. When she woke up, the screaming resumed until she suddenly made a horrible face, turned a shade of purple, and then made a big stink. That must have been her problem all along because after I changed her diaper in the tiny lavatory, she was much better for the last 20 minutes of the flight.

As we sat at DFW waiting for our connection, I felt exhaustion and dread. What if the second flight went just as poorly?

She was exceptionally charming while we waited. I fed her two bottles, cereal and baby food. Everyone was coming over to tell me how cute and well-behaved she was. (We'll just see what you say when we land in Phoenix, was what I was thinking!)

We were in the last group to board the plane. There was no preboarding and the flight was totally full. As I was headed to my seat, my would-be seat mate jumped up and flagged down a flight attendant. After a hushed conversation that involved a lot of pointing at me, the flight attendant approached the young woman seated in front of me and asked if she'd switch seats with the man who was supposed to sit next to me. She had no problem sitting next to us and was also very taken with Megan.

Luckily flight #2 was much less eventful. Megan played for a while, but slept for most of the flight. She didn't get antsy until we were just about to land, and even then she didn't really cry. There were several other babies on the flight who had cried on and off through nearly the whole trip, so Megan seemed really well-behaved compared to them!

After we landed, I thanked the young woman profusely for being such an understanding seatmate and we headed out of the gate to go find Grandma Kathy.

I am writing this from Arizona and we're headed home tomorrow. I'm a little nervous, but I think now that Megan's an experienced traveller, our trip home will be great...I hope! :)

The Christmas Letter 2006

Holiday greetings from the Milewski family!

Needless to say, EVERYTHING has changed for us over the past year.

We started the year busy with preparations. We took all the necessary childbirth and parenting classes. After the baby showers, we put together all the baby stuff and washed all the tiny clothes. As my belly got bigger and bigger, we were glad to be busy with school and hockey so that the wait was more bearable.

The Badgers decided to make life a little more interesting by making it to the National Championship game--one week before the baby's due date! The tournament was in Milwaukee (which was better than Albany, Boston or any of the other recent Frozen Four locations) and Todd had his cell phone out on the press table and a back-up plan for coverage of the game just in case. Luckily, the baby cooperated and stayed put and made her daddy's life just a little easier.

I worked until our due date, then started leave so I wouldn't have to be on my feet so much. I'll leave you to read the whole story about the labor and delivery in my other blog posts. :)

Megan was born in the early morning hours of April 22. We were able to spend a lot of time with her in the early months. It was the hockey off-season so Todd was home often. My maternity leave happened to work out so that I didn't have to go back to work until the end of the summer. We had a very fun summer doing lots of things as a family. My cousin Marissa even stayed with us for a few weeks to help out.

Megan amazes us every day with her abilities and personality. She is very smart and, of course, adorable. (Of course, I'm probably biased!) She sleeps through the night and is a very good eater. She sits up well and sings and babbles. Her latest thing is dancing. She loves music and when she hears a song she really likes, she starts to wiggle and "clap" with a giant smile on her face. She likes all of the foods we've offered her so far.

Todd's back on the Badger hockey beat once again, although he's a little less busy than years past. He is not writing the column for USCHO anymore. I think he sometimes misses it, but I think the opportunity to spend time each morning with Megan before he takes her to the sitter's is well worth it! He really likes the "daddy time."

I'm still teaching 2nd and 3rd grade bilingual, but I've scaled back on the extra things I was doing at school so that I have more time with my family. I also have a teaching partner this year. This has posed some challenges, but all-in-all, it's been much better for the students and me than being isolated.

While every aspect of our lives has been changed since the baby was born, they've all changed for the better. We're looking forward to a very special holiday season...and as with everything else, it's all about Megan! :)

Baby Therapy

It amazes me how different people act when they get a baby in their arms. The first person I saw a change in, of course, was Todd. He's gotten so much more tolerant of yucky stuff. Diapers are one thing, but he manages to put on a happy face when he's feeding her the baby food even though it looks and sometimes smells gross to him. That and he's a total mush when it comes to Megan. Not that he wasn't a mush before, but to see him mush on someone else, rather than being the recipient of the mush, is something else.

Then there's the grandparents. Megan's the first grandchild for all of them. My dad, for instance, tried to pull off his gruff, kids-fear-me act, but the last time we were visiting, all it took was her to grab his nose and he couldn't help but coo to her and get playful. Nana and Grandpa Jim just delight in her, too. Jim makes endless faces and noises for her and they both love to get right down on the floor with her. My mom has made 4 cross country trips to see her in the first 7 months of her life.

Whenever I take her to school, countless people ask to hold her and cuddle her. My principal is usually in constant motion, but if he sees the baby at school, he's got to take a break to hold her. Others use her for "baby therapy." That concept started when she was a newborn and I was home on maternity leave. Things got stressful at school and each day after school one or another of my friends was at our house to snuggle with the baby. They always left feeling better and more relaxed.

Maybe Megan will be some sort of a counselor when she grows up. :)

Thoughts on Breastfeeding

Breastfeeding ... you'd think the most natural of human functions wouldn't cause such a commotion. I mean, it's how babies are fed all around the world and it's been going on for all of mammal existence. Yet, over and over again we're the subject of curiosity, misunderstanding, and, at times, confrontation.

I have to wonder if American society's hang-ups about it have something to due with our Puritan roots or something. It really shouldn't be a big deal. The baby's got to eat, right? No one expects an adult to huddle in a corner to eat a hamburger. Adults certainly aren't asked to cover up with a blanket while eating a salad. Yet that's what's expected of nursing moms and their babies.

Megan was born in the spring and was the perfect age to be out and about all summer long. Since she was being exclusively breastfed, it made it really easy to head out the door with the girl and her diaper bag without having to worry about how long we'd be gone, the reliability of the water supply at our destination, running out of formula, having clean bottles or anything else. I learned fairly quickly what her cues were and how much time I'd have from the first cues to screaming fits of hunger. That also meant I got comfortable pretty quickly with settling in and nursing wherever we happened to be.

Oh, no. I wasn't the big lactation advocate I am now when Megan was first born. In fact, I was almost ready to give up. She had trouble learning to latch on properly in the hospital. The interventions of literally a team of lactation consultants (at one point, three well-meaning nurses were working with us at the same time) made me feel frustrated and inadequate. The low point was when one consultant started from three feet away with the baby to somehow ram her onto my breast. Once we finally started to figure each other out, my milk came in and we had a whole set of new problems when Megan would gag and sputter because there was too much milk for her to handle at a time. Todd was a huge help in getting me to relax and reminding me that we'd get it and that I was doing a good job.

We finally got the hang of it at home, but then I wasn't able to bear my flesh to the world right away. I tried my best to time outings so that she'd be fed before we left home or in the back seat of the car (when it was parked, of course!) but it didn't always work out that way. Then I tried the old drape-the-blanket trick. There were so many reasons that one didn't work! First of all, we learned early on that Megan would have nothing of blankets over her head. She'd just fuss and fight and refuse to latch until she was uncovered. Another reason was that the blanket tends to attract more attention than nursing out in the open! Then there's the logistics of trying to juggle a baby and a blanket. I found that I just wasn't coordinated enough. Todd eased the transition by being a human shield whenever I needed it.

Eventually, I realized that it wasn't MY problem when people felt uncomfortable with my nursing the baby, it was THEIR problem. Once I convinced myself of that (with a TON of support and encouragement from Todd), nursing became much less of a problem and much more of a convenience. I got really good at the contented smile I'd give to complete strangers who commented on (or criticized) my efforts with their words or even just looks.

I promised myself I'd write down the interesting places Megan's been nursed, so here goes: the lawn of the State Capitol, the mall, a Moose Lodge, Red Robin (where we cleverly used a table tent to block some prying eyes!), the zoo, State Street, at an outdoor concert, in a football stadium, at my school, at my husband's office, in the lobby of the doctor's office.

I know there's more interesting places that I'm not remembering right now, not to mention all the every-day places. After all, she was breastfed exclusively for nearly 6 months, but that's a start. Than there's my continuing adventures with pumping while I'm at work, but I'll leave those for another post. :)

Firsts

I should have started writing these things down a long time ago. The photos help, though. The photo with this post is one of the first times she held her head up at about 3 months old.

First Smile I remember her smiling first for Grandma Kathy when she was about 5 weeks old. It was Grandma's first visit since being there for Megan's birth. It was near the end of her two week visit, and Megan felt the need to reach a milestone before she left. A few weeks later, at Megan's 2 month check up, the doctor asked when her frist smile was. Todd answered, "Just in time!" How true! She had been pretty colicky and those first few smiles made up for a lot of sleepless nights.

First Began to Sleep Through the Night She started at about 7 weeks...then she got her two month shots. That set her back a few weeks.

First Meal Not Manufactured by Mommy About 2 weeks before Megan turned 6 months old, her demand for food started out pacing my ability to supply it. It was really hard for me to deal with. I have become quite a breastfeeding advocate over the past 6 months! But without being with her all the time, my supply couldn't respond to her signals. I justified those first formula feedings by reminding myself that she'd be starting solid foods soon and this was just another new food.

First Solid Food Megan started rice cereal about a week before she turned 6 months old. A week later Grandma Kathy got to give her the first serving of green beans.

First Began to Sit Megan began to sit on her own about 2 weeks before her 6 month birthday. It took her about a month to get good at it.

First Tooth It started to cut through about 2 weeks after her 6 month birthday.

First Started to Put Herself to Sleep She decided she wanted to fall asleep on her own rather than cuddling with mom or dad at about 6 months, 3 weeks.

(Today it's three days to Megan's 7 month birthday, so as you can see, a lot has happened in the past few months!)

Megan's First Hours

Todd called his parents so that everyone could hear her name at the same time. We had kept it a secret until then. I don't think any of them minded being awake at 3:45 in the morning to get the news that their first grandchild had arrived in the form of a healthy, 8lbs, 1oz girl named Megan.

Megan continued to scream her lungs out as they took her to clean her up, weigh her, measure her and complete her first physical exam. I think they gave her bonus APGAR points for her lung capacity. She was actually a 9, only losing a point for the yellow hue to her skin. I was told that her foot was almost too big to fit into the footprint box on her records. (Like mother, like daughter. :) ) Todd stayed with her the whole time and caught all the highlights on the camera.

Meanwhile, they started to patch me up. The doctor was sewing away at my "natural episiotomy" when he suddenly walked to the corner of the room with the resident for a conference. When they came back they told the nurse they'd need another suture kit and a catheter. That didn't sound very good to me. Apparently I had torn nearly to my urethra.

Things settled down after that. My mom decided to drive to our house to get some rest. Todd and I had some time alone with Megan in the birthing room. She was still crying. After about an hour, the nurse suggested it was time for me to get up and start moving. Todd held Megan (still screaming) while I took a shower and was able to shave my legs for the first time in weeks.

Then they moved us to our "Family Care Suite." A nurse came to give Megan her first bath and warned us that we'd want to get some rest as soon as we could since rounds would be starting soon and the doctors would be in to check on both of us.

Shortly after she left, the next nurse came in to give us a complicated orientation to the room, my new body, and our baby. I couldn't tell you half of what she told us. But I know she said to make sure to get some rest since the rounds would start soon!

Sure enough, in about a half hour the parade of doctors and nurses began. By the time things settled down again, it was almost time for our visitors to start arriving. While Todd took a quick nap, I used the adrenaline high I was still on to call some friends and family members. Megan had finally stopped crying and was sleeping in the bassinet nest to my bed. I kept wanting to reach out and touch her to make sure she was real. I didn't want to wake her up...or wake Todd up, so I settled for rocking her bassinet.

I never did get to sleep until that night!

Megan's Birth Story (Part 2)

We went to pick up my mom at the airport at 6:00 p.m. By that point, I had to brace myself against something when a contraction was underway. Her first view of me as she came down the stairs at the airport was of me pushing against the wall as I breathed through a contraction.

We all went home for a few more hours. I made Todd stop at Target to get an exercise ball for me to rock on at home. We hung out for a while and I managed to eat a half peanut butter and jelly sandwich. We decided to call the hospital at about 9:00. After hearing me have a contraction or two over the phone (I couldn't talk through them by that point), they said it was time to come back. So we headed back to the hospital.

This time they let me stay, even though I was no more dilated than I had been earlier. Feeling frustrated again, we settled in for what we thought was going to be a long night.

I tried all the stuff they told me to in the birthing room. Right away they suggested I get in the tub. I argued that I'm not really a "tub person."

"Trust us," they said. "Everyone LOVES the tub." I gave it a try--still in my sports bra and gown. After about 15 minutes of trying to get comfortable and get my immense belly under the water, they agreed to let me get out. So there I was, now soggy in addition to in pain, tired and frustrated.

While the contractions kept getting stronger, I really wasn't dilating much.

I decided to try to take a nap. The nurse advised that I shouldn't lay down, that gravity would be working against me, and that I'd only be slowing my progress. However, as soon as I was lying down, I felt nauseated, threw up, and my water broke. It was really dramatic. :)

They had me sit on the birthing ball. I swayed and rolled through the contractions, which, by that point, were all I could focus on. Oddly, I managed to sleep for the 1-2 minutes between contractions. My mom thought it was the strangest thing she had ever seen. When a contraction ended, I'd rest my head on my arms on the end of the bed. My whole body would relax and I'd doze. Then when another contraction ramped up, I'd tense up and start rocking again.

By that point I had tuned out Todd's voice because of the pain. He was working on physical support (holding my hand, pushing on my back, etc) and my mom's voice was somehow making it through to my addled brain for the breathing support. I don't know if I would have made it all the way through with no pain meds at all if it hadn't been for my mom being there with us.

Then my nurse went on break. Her substitute suggested that I try lying over a bean bag. It hurt like hell! Suddenly I felt like I need to push. The nurse called the doctor in and I had dilated from 5 cm to 9 cm in about 20 minutes! They got my nurse off break and called in the cavalry.

Shortly into the pushing, the doctor asked if I'd like to feel her head. I didn't really believe that I could just reach down and feel her, but there she was. I remember thinking something like, "Oh my god! How weird!" The other strange moment I remember during pushing was hearing "American Baby" by Dave Matthews Band coming from our long-forgotten playlist on the computer. I remember thinking it was an ironic song to hear.

After only about 40 minutes of pushing (which after the contractions seemed easy--I just let my body take over), Megan was out and screaming her little lungs out at 3:31.

The doctor put her on my chest. It was the most amazing moment of my life.

Megan's Birth Story (Part 1)

The photo at the right is one my mom took at 8:50 on April 21. Megan was born about 6 1/2 hours later.

Some like to read labor and birth stories and some don't. All I know for sure is that nearly every mom I know and many of the people I know who want to BE moms sometime soon have been interested in hearing our story. So here goes.

My due date was April 15, my sister's birthday. The Frozen Four was the weekend before that. Luckily it was in Milwaukee so Todd was close by in case I went into labor. Needless to say, Todd was very happy that Megan decided to come a week late rather than a week early!

Throughout pregnancy, I was nervous that something would happen (like my water breaking) while I was teaching. Since she still wasn't out by then, I quit working after my due date and proceeded to sit around for a week rather than increase the chances of traumatizing my students by going into labor right before their eyes.

So there Todd and I were-- the hockey season over and no more school to worry about. It became a waiting game. We looked for things to do every day, just to pass the time. We mall walked, we went to the zoo, we watched movies.

We went to the doctor on Tuesday. There had been little progress to note since the week before. I was getting tired of pregnancy and itching to move on to the next step by that point. The doctor said he'd be willing to induce me on Monday, so I was a little less frustrated. I knew I'd have the baby Monday at the very latest.

After I made the update phone calls to all the family and friends, my mom called back. She decided to book a last minute flight to Wisconsin now that we had a much smaller window of time that the baby would be arriving. She figured she'd come to keep us company during the end of the wait and then be around to help during the induction. The plan was that she'd fly in Friday evening and fly out Tuesday.

After hanging out with me all week, Todd had an opportunity to go in to work for a morning desk shift on Friday. We thought it couldn't hurt to give him a chance to get out (and away from me!) for a few hours.

I woke up feeling what, at the time, felt like significant contractions about 4:30 on Friday morning. When Todd's alarm clock went off at 5:15, I told him what was going on. I didn't think what I was feeling was the real thing just yet, so I told him to go and that I'd call if the contractions started to intensify or get closer together. By 9:00, the nurse told me to go in to the hospital (contractions were 3-4 mins apart) so Todd came home to drive me.

We sat at the hospital for a few hours in triage and then they told us to go home. They weren't willing to say if I was in false labor or early labor but a nurse told us on the sly that I should rest up and eat some spicy food because she thought I'd be back soon. So I did. We stopped at Qdoba and I, for the first time in my life, added as much hot sauce as I could handle to my burrito. We drove home and I took a nap. When I woke up a few hours later, my contractions were noticeably stronger, but since I didn't want to go in and be sent home again, we waited.

To be continued...

The Girl Loves Journey

In case you missed it, the Chicago White Sox adopted the song "Don't Stop Believing" for their motto during their World Series run.

The song's a big hit with the kids at college sports games, too.

Apparently Journey's making a big comeback. Being the trendy baby that she is, Megan doesn't want to be left out. "Don't Stop Believing" is her favorite song.

No, really. Nothing makes her smile and gets her attention (and distracts her when she's getting upset) like singing about the small town girl, living in a lonely world and the city boy, born and raised in South Detroit. But she really gets excited when you finally get to the refrain...which is actually nearly the end of the song.

Imagine her daddy, singing in his best falsetto, to the girl who has won his heart like no other.

Priceless. :)

BLOG!

BLOG! Megan's inspired me to start blogging. She watches her dad do it, and wants to join in. She's also stinking cute and there's a lot I should be writing down so that I don't forget it.

I heard from my cousin the other day that he doesn't remember many of his kids "firsts" because everything gets all jumbled as time passes. Megan's already 6 months old. It feels like a big chunk of time has already rolled by. We've tried to catch a lot of her firsts on camera, so I'll probably launch these posts from various pictures we've taken.

So, like it or not, blog world, here I go. BLOGBLOGBLOG!